Saturday, January 18, 2003
at 8:27 PMOf A Distant Life
The orientation went well enough; I filled out some paperwork, then one of my supervisors (Bonnie) gave me my little Safari shirt and my little Safari pins. My position is "Pathfinder", more commonly known in other places of employment as a "Sales Associate".
What I really want is the chance to wear Cha-Cha The Frog's mascot costume. That way, I get to leave the store when I get bored. Unfortunately, I also foresee many downsides:1. The costume probably accumulates the body odours of every person who dons it.
2. Children will kick me.
3. Older kids will assert to their younger siblings that there is a person in that frog, after which a great deal of crying shall likely ensue. Then the parents of the children involved will be irate with me, rather than their obnoxious little brats, for making said obnoxious brats miserable.
4. The girl who wore the costume today received a hug from an eighth grade boy. I do not want to be the provider of any kid's first mild sexual experience.
My co-Pathfinders seemed nice enough, but each, upon cornering me alone, commented on all the others and warned me to "be careful" around them. I am quite amused. This guy named Richard, who goes to Mayde Creek, confided all the girls were crazy, and I should steer clear of them. Annie, who is remarkably pretty for a band nerd, informed me Richard was a "big dork".
I think this job will be most exciting.
Basically, I stand at the front of the store, greeting people with an overbright smile and some inane salutatory phrase. Oh, and the children. I have to be all cute and fun with children. I am to carry a puppet or plush doll in my paws at all times to shove in babies' faces. The teeny-tinies I do not mind as much, but I cannot stand junior high and high school kids who amble in. I waved the puppet in their faces, too, at every opportunity.
A mechanical snake near the store front is apparently the Rainforest Cafe's main attraction. Young and old alike stand below it, transfixed in utter fascination. Some kids scream and run away, forever traumatized. Some kids, too little to flee, become ensnared in a parent's grip to be thrust into the snake's face. They shriek in terror (while their parents laugh at them), which is something they'll eventually mention to their therapist thirty years from now.
