Thursday, December 04, 2003
I purchased stamps today. I then wandered around the dollar store, the Hallmark gift store, and Schnucks (the grocery store). At Schnucks I bought a green Christmas stocking and two cartons of Whoppers. The Whoppers are for The Father, to complement his Christmas gift. The stocking is for me, to leave at my current residence whilst I visit the K-hole. Upon consultation with Krista and my aunt Laura, I concluded that the Santa who visits Uncle Nick and Aunt Laura's house is not the same Santa Claus who customarily squeezes down the chimney of my K-hole domicile. The K-hole Santa is a cheap bastard who throws an orange into the bottom of my stocking so he spends less money on candy with which to stuff it. The K-hole Santa has not gifted me with anything other than candy for years. Uncle Nick and Aunt Laura's Santa concentrates more on stocking presents, which I prefer now that I am older and fatter. In order to maximize my stocking profits, therefore, I will hang stockings at both houses. Since there must be more than one Santa who works the Christmas Eve circuit, he'll never know the difference.at 7:51 PM
While I'm at it, I should probably sneak a stocking into April's house. Her Santa must be a benevolent fellow, too.
