Thursday, December 11, 2003
Last night I concocted grand plans for this day. However, I suspect I shall largely abandon my schemes, yet again, in favour of completing less productive work.at 11:40 AM
I already baked a lemon cake. I sampled it, and I swore I could taste cooking spray. Pre-mixed mixes of anything are generally worth less than the trouble it would have taken to mix the real ingredients together by one's self (with the notable exception of McCormick's Country Gravy, which is adequate for one's country gravy needs). As a child, The Father suffered several traumetizing experiences consuming instant mashed potatoes, which he told us (my siblings and me) we were never to eat. He placed more emphasis on this particular type of abstinence than he did on marijuana, alcohol, or sex. My family takes eating the correct kinds of the bad kinds of foods seriously.
On that note, my face (which sometimes resembles a stale piece of pepperoni) cleared up substantially during these past few weeks since my investment in a bottle of Neutrogena's astringent. I love that stuff. If possible, it is even more filthy than using Biore pore strips. I coat my face with the blue-tinted liquid, and the cotton ball I use actually turns brackish! To quote Oscar The Grouch: "I love trash!" The oil on my face reverses the race of a cotton ball. I am really talented.
Another body care product I discovered: Burt's Bees coconut foot creme. It makes me want to lick my feet (which is a little exacerbating, because I am too fat and too inflexible to reach them). This foot goo provides more of a placebo effect than any supposed medicinal/healing value, but I careth not. I calloused my feet this semester walking to and from bus stops and to and from work before I acquired The Almighty Box-Car Buick. The act of rubbing yellowish goo on my feet soothes them.
Along the foot line, I need new tennis shoes and socks (all kinds). Emily Koch gave me her brother's classic black Airwalks in seventh grade, and I still wear them daily. The Megabitch left a pair of red Vans when she moved out of the house, but the dye tints my socks, plus she tore up the shoes wearing them to work every day. I almost smell ham (she works at Jason's Deli). The Megabitch also left a rarely-worn pair of blue Adidas, but I slip in them when I walk on wet pavement. Anyone willing to contribute to the "Save Lauree From Looking Like A Street Urchin Fund" may make monetary donations to the following address:Save Lauree's FeetAfter I shower, I'll make a cake run to my grandpa's house. If I complete twenty road trips of at least fifteen minutes each, Pam will get me a fifteen-dollar discount on my auto insurance. Ausgezeichnet. I also need to drop off his Christmas present (two Hershey's candy bars wrapped in a shirt gift box- it takes very little to make my grandpa happy). Upon my return from this errand, I must buckle down to human sexuality, for which I still have that test to contend tomorrow. I do well on the psychology sections and poorly on the biology sections. Biology, for me, requires more rote memorization, which I unfortunately chose to neglect this semester.
2328 Hempline Court
Oakville, Missouri 63129
