Sunday, February 15, 2004
Whenever I see "V-Day", or v-anything, I cannot help but think Vagina! I usually park in the V section of my college's parking lot, and I always chant, "V" is for "vagina" to myself as I walk from or toward my car. It helps me remember where I am, see.at 3:28 PM
I worked eight and one-half hours yesterday, so I clocked out for lunch. I walked next door to Subway, ordered my sub, then went to the urination station. I turned the knob (which rotated only partway) and heard an agitated woman's voice call out, 'There's someone in here!' All right, I thought, but I hope she's not going to take a really long dump, because this Diet Coke I'm drinking needs room to go somewhere.
The guy who made my meatball-and-cheese sub [it was on wheat bread] said, 'There's still someone in there?' In incredulity he informed me that a lady and a man had walked in together to use the bathrooms, but they had apparently both been back there for twenty minutes. It took me about eight minutes to finish eating, then I sipped my soda. A little old lady and a little old man both finished their meal, then walked back [why do couples pee at the same time?] to the bathrooms [the guy behind the counter and I pretended we weren't watching them].
The little old man opened the men's lavatory door and proceeded inward to do what little old men do alone with themselves in an enclosed space. The little old lady tried the door and encountered a response identical to mine. She stood outside the door, patiently waiting, for an approximate two minutes before a young-ish (late twenties) black couple walked out of the women's bathroom. I strained, but I did not get a glimpse of the little old lady's face.
As the couple walked by me toward the door [I looked ahead at the soda machine; the guy behind the counter looked at the lettuce, presumably], the woman said to the man, 'Oh, do you want to get anything while we're here?' He indicated the negative, and they made their exit. We two observers about died. The little old man finished first [heh], and the little old lady joined him with no audible comment.
I still needed to empty my bladder... I told the guy behind the counter I'd make him aware of any mess to clean up, but he said he didn't get paid enough. I did not disagree with him. Anyhow, all things appeared normal, but then, I didn't look anywhere I didn't have to, either. The air smelled a bit... "un-fresh"...
Happy V-Day, indeed.
