Thursday, April 22, 2004
I went to the grocery store and secured a six-pack of Mountain Dews, a carton of over-priced chocolate milk, and one box of grocery store brand fudge Pop Tarts. I consistently buy groceries that only a child would eat. But I am yet a child.at 4:06 PM
This morning Tina commissioned me to put Fuddruckers Curbside To-Go cards on car windshields at the mall. I was the only person she asked who did not refuse to do it. I have no dignity. Then I stamped and addressed birthday postcards for her. Every month Tina mails the kids in her database a postcard they may redeem for a free meal. So they drag their parents in to use the card, and Mommy and Daddy end up paying twenty or thirty dollars for that free meal. 'Tis a diabolical little plot. For my extra effort, Tina bought me lunch. I ate a burger with mushrooms, bacon, and American cheese. I have never before consumed a mushroom burger; it agreed with my system.
Tomorrow I must journey back to work to receive my Hepatitis A shot. I've been operating for three months without it, and there could be dire consequences from The Health Inspectors if I do not comply.
Tomorrow I also turn nineteen. I ordered The Father to overnight me a Flying Saucer Pie Company chocolate creme pie, but he countered on the grounds of impracticality. I, by my very nature, am impractical; thus, he ought to supplicate my demands.
"People ship frozen food all the time!" said I. "You just need to ask the post office how to do it."
"They'll eat it."
My birthday will be a day to mope.
